A match made in heaven?

So I was talking to this old. no make it really old wise lady and something banged my brain ( no you ass not as is bang the girl bang, as the big bang. God your impossible). I like to think of the world as rational, I like to think of it as a big experiment which is being watched and taken care of really closely. Something that you have done a million times and you know exactly how its going to behave and it will behave that way. So keeping that in mind, read the following situation and tell me how would your rationalize it.

Note: No I’m not a sexist, though thinking of myself as one will give me a weird,sick sort of a pleasure. If I use the world girl you can always replace it with a guy without any hesitance.

There is a girl who lets say does drugs/guys/alcohol and everything in between. In other words, yes your perfect wife material. Just the one you would love to have by your side and raise your drug induced children with needles from the start. It works actually no baby no cry ( Damn I’m the next Bob Marley). Sorry got carried away, we were talking about the perfect woman. Since we’re on the the topic of the perfect girl. Let’s make her sleep with the whole football/cricket team. So we have needle induced skin, a black lever, a hint of carbon on the lungs and the whole cricket/hockey team. Now, our princess gets caught by her dad somehow. The vicious dad grounds her, tells her mom it’s all her fault and she should find a lad for her now asap.

At the same time, there’s a lad 28 or something living “abroad”. A nice young lad I might add, whose family is forcing him to get married for ages; he finally gives in. So the hunt starts and finally they find a perfect little angel for him, a distant cousin. Whose just perfect for him, pretty little thing with a nice college degree of course, preferably a doctor.

So a perfect match from heaven is made, they get married have children live a perfect little life, she gets sober. Never does shit again, no one talks or know about the old stuff ( of course if she dated me, she’s be getting some sweet kick ass blow up on wedding but still ) and they live happily ever after.

The question is there something wrong in the picture? Is all of it, Just and rational? Is everyone on fair and moral grounds? Is some cheated? Just can’t get my head past it.

Second Note: well if you find any spelling or grammatical mistakes, I would appreciate you shoving them up your butt :)

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Published by

Fahim Akhter

Fahim is a product manager with over 10 years of experience currently working as product head at MONT5. He focuses on user centric centric design, especially on brand, user experience and revenue product challenges. Prior to joining MONT5, Fahim's has worn multiple hats during his career from game production to product development but the emphasis has always been on creating unparalleled user experience and to help startups to make complex products more engaging. He has worked on diversified portfolio of startups including games, apps, education and e-commerce with product reach of 10M users across the globe. Fahim is a computer science graduate from FAST Islamabad. He volunteers for education and mentors students and startups, to help them grow and drive innovation.

74 thoughts on “A match made in heaven?”

  1. Fahim stop trying to make hypothetical situations to get the answer you want. Yes life’s a bitch, but who says you should stop fighting for what you deserve! :P

  2. Fahim dude, stop making these hypothetical situations to get the answer you want. That lifes a bitch and u don’t get what you deserve. But hell man why should u stop fighting for it :P

  3. Ahhh, fahim you disappoint me once again. and it feels nice. your continuous struggle with having rational thoughts and than actually writing them in readable and bearable english, amazes me. But obviously it’s a down hill battle since being rational contradicts with being douchebag wannabe.

    Keep up the worst job in literature history and maybe you will get noticed by some one looking for references for his work on ‘the evolution gone wrong’
    and after you die you might become famous like ed wood.

    Forgive me Ed Wood. you were much better.

    1. The thought and the pleasure of wasting a couple of minutes of your time and getting you so frustrated that you end up writing a comment, is priceless my friend.

      You made my day.

  4. Saira, like a person who does a sin and do not feel bad for it during doing that and after doing that, and do not repent? what will u call him? either he is a demon or he is a phsyco, because normal people feel bad if they do a sin and i am talking about grave sin, gunah e kabeera like murder, rape, fornication etc, so there is some bug in the programming of such person.If a person repents which means that he has realised that what he is doing is wrong, this means that the bug is removed and the virus logged by devil in him is gone. All this means that if a person does some sin he alone will be accountable for that the satan is damned already, thats why the person whi is sininc goes to hell, he wont be left on an excuse that the satan did that to him.
    I hope i am making myself clear rather then making u confused.

    1. Yes now you are talking, “demon or a phsycho”.
      I was refering to Iblees and Freud metaphorically. Iblees: evil doer, Freud: medical therapist.

      You were pressing so much upon medical help that I had to try and show you the other side of the picture too. Sometimes the software doesnt have a bug, sometimes its made for an evil purpose, e.g a Trojan … or say it derives from the class evil … if you get what I mean. But lets put that aside. When you say the person is evil just because hes mad that sounds very very unfair to me!

      If the wrong that she has perpetuated is considered a sin in his frame of reference and he doesnt realize it, then thats a punishment in it self too.

      I hope I dont sound obfuscated again :S (:().

      1. Only software made for evil purpose is satan, humans are neither good nor bad, they have to choose a path, still their are checks with in the human system whether they are doing the right thing or not, just like an anti virus captures trojan horse, thats the test for which we are sent to this world, at least i think like that. Now i know this whoe discussion is going towards destiny, and i think we shouldnt talk about fate because i still think few are undera grand plan of Allah and we arent able to understand it fully.

  5. If a guy knows that what he is doing is a sin and keeps on doing that then he have no desire for repentance or either he is addicted to that sin or those sins, in both cases he needs medical help help.
    when a person repents this means that he believes that he have done wrong and he wont do that again otherwise the same conclusion prevails, he needs medical help!

    1. So you are implying that Iblees should go see Freud? and that will solve the problem since he’s persistently sticking to evil and it’s not his fault but some medical problem?
      Cos as much as i know about God, He wont hold a mentally impaired person accountable for anything! So Iblees is the maddest of them all and hence wont be held accountable?

  6. Fade away just like that? Think again! … Think again! … Even if you’re doing something like smoking … Does that fade away without leaving any traces?

    I guarantee you that its not absolute marking and if you want to see a proof of that in nature … look closer and get into particle physics a little ;).

      1. Focus: Changes? what factor and information makes you use the word Changes and not say that its how they actually behave :P

        @Smoking: Did Fahim just agree with me?!? :|

      2. You just really like when people don’t agree right?

        And no if you put them in a closed environment and do not observe them the results are different. but if you observe the process the results are different.

      3. @agreement: Grammar: when you combine an assumption (:P) with a question in the same sentence you should use a comma. Your sentence should be like:
        “You just really like when people don’t agree, right?”

        @Paricles: RELATIVITY!!!! :@ :P (and some other stuff too)

  7. I see a lot of assumptions there now. Cos Drugs dont just fade away! You would know if you have ever tried them!
    God doesnt do absolute marking, Hes into relative marking, Atleast Allah is. One example that i have of that is that of a courtesan. In islam if a courtesan commits adultry/fornication her punishment is half of that for a regular woman. Why do you think? Tell me id that needs to explained too … So:

    1- If she never realised that was wrong she will not be brought to charge for it the way someone else would be who realised the wrong.

    2- Drugs! … Do they just fade away?!? … they ruin you from inside and outside! … No? isnt that a punishment in itself? And if drugs were all fun why the hell would she give up on them ever!

    You dont think much before making a statement :P its probably the sunlight! :P

    1. Well, I agree with relative marking. Cause’ if its absolute marking in this age and time, I am so fucked.

      And well about drugs hmm, been there done that. They do actually fade away, depends on what your taking :D Ok that sounded wrong, I’m a red warm heart on the inside though :P

  8. I think every person have a zaman e jahiliat (period of ignorance) in his or her life, once a person shrugs that off from his/her life, then even God forgives we are just humans who are we to wage mockery?

    repentance and never turning back is a quality of a good person, and if a person repents and then turn back to the initial and keep on doing the same old mistakes then he/she is giving him/her self deceptions.They need medical help!

    A perfect design of the Perfect the God can’t be understood by imperfect species like us, so the discussion isn’t a good one, because beliefs are not always logical on the human level. They are fuzzier then we think they are!

    1. Here’s the thing I have a problem with repentance. Tell me this, two brothers lets say twins are born one a complete menace and one a pretty ok lad. Prays at times has his concepts pretty clear. Lives an ordinary life. The other does crazy sins for thirty years.

      One day wakes up repents an becomes a preacher and goes to heaven, the other to hell. Care to rationalize?

      The dude had the fun of both the worlds, the other of none.

      1. What makes you think repentance comes that easily? I think its a very painful process. I also think “Hadayat” is a very painful process too. Say X did something wrong like 3 years back, it took X like 5 minutes to do it but X has been crying and repenting everyday/night over it for the last 3 years being unsure if she’s forgiven or not. And it makes her think that every bit of bad in her life right now is because of that. So X has become paranoid, lost her self esteem and a lot more, and one day say Fahim comes across X and he sees this big smile on her face, appreciates her sense of humor and a lot more and assumes shes super happy. Not fair!

      2. how the fuck u can say he goes to hell? The most beautiful thing in this universe is the balance and trade-offs, a poor beggar takes solace in things we cant even imagine. Still, harder the test better the reward. for my wow fellows,the harder the raid the better the loot ;p
        my point is you cant judge WHO DESERVES WHAT

      3. @ Saira : Agreed repentance is a hard process, and if one actually works for it. He/She should be forgiven, lets talk about the case of someone who never realized they were wrong. She was just forced into marriage by her parents and leaving drugs. She never thought it was wrong and when time passed it just all faded away with it.

        @Molvi : Haha, speaking of wow do check out the link about the guy who goes crazy when his mom doesn’t recharge his account and disables it. So what if you play really hard you get yourself an almighty armour and your mom deletes your account. Whats your fault? :P

  9. ok for the poor lad i think its perfect if the shit done by her princess doesnt come his way anymore. ill appreciate the princess(damn i love this word) if she stops doing drugs/stops sleeping around (but i dont believe so) khair my point is NO one is perfect, the shit you do comes back to haunt you in strange ways, also there are some examples of “injustice” quoted by someone before and the blame goes to our society’s mind frame. if a spouse isnt happy in the marriage they are stuck with the other forever. If sughra gets a divorce then she is pretty much dead for the rest of her life. Marriage/Seperation should be an easy thing.

    1. Princess reminds me of daddies dirty little princess, nice… Well your right, if she leaves it and everything its a really good thing for the spouse. But how would you feel about someone like that, like living with them. If you’ve been a clean kid all your life?

      Marriage seperation should be easy but the problem its one of the big land marks in one’s life. Its like saying yeah one should have a good degree and shit but well it doesn’t really matter. Khair bad metaphor, your intel hope you understand maulana.

      But right here its not about that, its about right and wrong. What your saying that it haunts in weird ways, if true; that makes me happy.

      1. On a side note, I’m hating how wordpress manages these comment threads … its just crappy, and just too “out of the box” for my brain :S …

      2. Since, I have lost my second job. I think I deserve a little cheering up :P Thanks molvi. And farhan bhai so true its weird like one should be able to reply to the comment you want to reply to.

  10. I think its fine, the picture is perfect although i wouldn’t want to be in place of that guy, have lots of issues :p

    but yeah, well she had fun, now if they are living happy, so whats wrong in it ?

    But don’t you think the guy would realise in the first night, that she’s been doing everyone before him :s

      1. Question mark! Dont you see a question mark! :P … Im asking … thats a interrogative mark! … remember the question mark! :P

        So how did she make you think of all this? This REALLY old lady! haan!

  11. I believe in “Evil women are for evil men and evil men are for evil women, and good women are for good men and good men are for good women.”

    And I don’t believe in this to just give myself some hope, I believe in it, because I think Allah gives a good person the capability of identifying good vs. bad.

    And this is why, I am in such a big favour of atleast meeting the person you are getting married to in advance. (which is allowed too, in presence of a mahram)

    So, first, I dont think a decent/good guy will be getting married to a person like the one you described. And even somehow, God forbid, his parents approach a girl like this, i think that person should meet her … and I think he can find out what she really is from inside.

    1. I wish I could agree, but I have seen it happen. Well rather I’m seeing it happen these days its in the process for someone I know. The girl obviously and it well pretty much sucks. Poor lad and the happy football team

      1. Exactly thats the point the person changing after marriage. The person changing after marriage, the person concerned had all his worldy ‘fun’ before marriage and becomes a ‘shareef’ person after it. The other person on the other hand never had a glimpse of that world and now they live happily ever after. Somehow for me its not a happy ending.

    2. There are so many real life stories where i do know evil men being married to good women and vice versa … I dont wanna get so explicit as to admit that im living these stories too but here it is:

      1- I know a couple whos been married for over 30 years now and the guy has always been drinking and beating the wife up … he still likes wasting his money into gambling and then of course beating the wife up everyday … 30 years now … that old lady is a gem! .. i have known her for 5 years now! … How do you balance that?

      2- My friend got married to her cousin, they supposedly were happy and having fun, they guy had been sleeping around with other women. and after one year of marriage he left her at her parents house, keeping all her possesions with him and not even telling the girl that hes about to file for divorce. And now its been 3 years … shes still fighting for her part, shes out of money and cant even afford a lawyer! … when they guy is having fun with rightfully belongs to her and sleeping around. Now i know these stories … and i know the girl! … i have never seen somebdoy with a heart as pure and loving as hers! … so evil man good woman … ???

      3- I have a lot more stories to tell, where i know people personally. Ever been to Daar-ul-amaan? tried listening to the stories of the girls there? … Do that someday and then tell me if you still believe in this fairy tale quote?

      1. Here’s the thing I agree to what your saying and that exactly is my point. You always have to make it a sexist point don’t you ?

        The thing is not about sex, its about whats fair and not. In my case I’m talking about a person. who had his/her ‘fun’ getting married or living with a good person and having a good life. The other person never had ‘fun’ and lives with him/her. How does one justify this.

      2. And about your story: I’ll say again what the old lady said before to you “How can we decide about something being rational unless we know it upside down? :S … I think i cant know nature fully … and that’s probably not possible in the capacity given to me in this life … :S” … you know nothing about the lad here!

      3. Yes, there is no doubt that my opinion was completely optimistic, as I am. Points made here definitely are strong. But the thing is that we can not exclude the possibility of a person changing after marriage.

        I can also point out people who improved a lot after their marriage, which to some extent, proves my previous point invalid :|

        To me the conclusion is ‘We can only take decisions according to our limited knowledge, it can be good, and can be bad. What we can always do, is strive for good, in our deeds as well as ask for good in prayers. After it Heaven/Hell is waiting, and no one can escape it :)’

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